Japanese table manners

Japanese traditionally eat sitting on cushion placed on tatami floor. They seat around low tables. In formal situations both male and female are kneeling (“seiza”). In casual situations men sit cross-legged and women sit with both legs to one side.

The most important person present at meal seats on “kamiza” or the seat of honour. The kamiza is placed farthest from the entrance to the room where the meal is held.

If there is tokonama in the room guest sits in front of it. Tokonoma (“toko” means "floor" or "bed", “ma” means "space" or "room."), or just toko, is a built-in recessed space in traditional Japanese room. In English the word alcove is usually used. Some of object like calligraphic scrolls, pictorial scrolls and flower arrangements are kept in Tokonoma.

Tokonoma (alcove)

Quite often the hot steamed towel is offered to those present to clean their hands.

When attending a meal where there is a hostess start the meal after she tells you to eat three times.

Before starting a meal person says "itadakimasu" ("I gratefully receive"). After the meal is finshed you suppose to say "gochisosama (deshita)" ("Thank you for the meal").

Many of traditions concerning table manners are those about chopsticks. Chopsticks are two sticks of same length used as eating utensils in Japan, but also in some other Asian countries like China, Korea and Vietnam. Usually they are made of bamboo or plastic. Chopsticks made of metal, bone, ivory and different wood exist too.

chopsticks on hashioki (chopstick stand)

The word chopsticks used in English language actually came from Chinese Pidgin English. There term “chow chow” meant quickly. In Japanese language chopsticks are called “hashi” or “otemoto”. In word otemoto “o” is honorific, “te” means hand and “moto” comes from "kyo" of "kyoka” (permission) or "gen" of "ganjitsu” (New year's Day).

How to use chopsticks? Hold them in one hand, between the thumb and fingers, and use them to pick up pieces of food. Like everything in life it takes practice.

Never ever leave chopsticks standing vertically in the bowl of food. That way it looks quite similar to the offering made for one's ancestors.

When there is a dish, like for example salad, served in one bowl for everyone at the meal it's acceptable to reverse your chopsticks and use them that way.

Women should hold their hand beneath the bowl when using chopsticks. Men do not do it.

Generally speaking soup is eating by putting the bowl towards your mouth. Spoons are never used.

zoni soup

There are some exceptions. For example, “O-zoni” or just “zoni” is a Japanese soup containing “mochi” rice cakes. With this soup and all other with noodles you can use chopsticks. Soups with noodles are served in larger bowls.

udon noodles

Do not be shy to slurp when eating noodles such as “udon”, “ramen” or “soba”. The Japanese think that it is perfectly ok. There is more. Japanese people believe that it is good to inhale the air when eating hot noodles. That way the taste of noodles is improved.

ramen noodles

If, when eating, something fells on the table use little bit of rice from the bowl to remove it. The rice used must be eaten. The rice left in bowl must remain white. The same as when served.

It is believed to be polite to finish all parts of meal at about same time. That means take a bite from one bowl, move to another and so on.

Taking a break during the meal is normal. What to do with you chopsticks? Just put them on “hashioki” or chopsticks rest. It can be a ceramic object or the one made of wood. For the same purpose you'll sometimes get a halved cork.

It is not polite to use chopsticks when making gestures during meal. You should never transfer food from one chopsticks to another. Similar action exists in traditional Japanese funerals when separation of bones form ashes is done after the cremation.

Let's now mention thing or two about drinking. Imagine that you are pouring a wine or beer. The hand holding the bottle should pour forward. It is regarded an insult if the pouring is done backward.

Alcoholic drinks when drank with several people are usually poured to one another. Pouring the drink for yourself is not common. Just empty your glass and put the glass towards other person. You can also fill the glass belonging to person next to you. He or she will then politely pour drink in your glass.

Do not start to drink until everyone is served. When making a salute say “kampai”. Do not use term “chin chin”. Why? Well, in Japanese this term is used for male genitals.

When the Japanese get together for a drink they often play so called drinking games. Good example of such game is the “Takenoko Takenoko Nyoki Ki”.

sushi

Let's end this article with several rules observed when eating sushi. Sushi is vinegar rice, usually topped with some other ingredients, like for example fish. You do not have to use chopsticks. Just grab sushi with your hands and eat it that way.

sashimi

The exception to this rule is sashimi (pieces of raw fish). Sashimi is eaten with chopsticks. When possible finish your sushi in only one bite or hold it until you finish it. If you put unfinished sushi back on the plate it will be considered impolite.

And yes, I should not forget it, when paying a bill in Japanese restaurant you do not have to leave a tip.